When I was teaching persuasive writing, I always began with frames—a general structure on which to hang ideas. The 5-paragraph essay I was taught when I was an adolescent seems pretty basic, but it’s not a bad place to start. An introductory paragraph explains the issue and ends with a thesis, the main idea. Three body paragraphs offer three supporting reasons. The conclusion restates everything. I generally added another paragraph just before the conclusion reviewing opposing views and explaining why they’re wrong.

A craft talk at the first residency of my MFA program outlined a similar structure. Tell a story that reveals a problem. Tell a story that provides a solution . . . and explain why it doesn’t. Do that twice more. In conclusion, tell a story with a workable solution. He said the paragraphs should all be about the same length and the writer can tailor their essay to fit a required length. For a thousand-word essay, aim for 200-word paragraphs; for a shorter or longer essay, adjust the number of words in each paragraph. The key is that each paragraph has work to accomplish in service of the whole.

The first essay I assigned my high school juniors was mostly a joke. For the Real Life Problems (RLPs) choose a trivial annoyance as an issue. Think tourists who ask how to get to the beach a thousand times a day, not world hunger. Think your brother using your gaming system, not war in the middle east. Hunger and war are not funny, but if the writer gets over themselves repetitive tasks and annoying sibling can be funny. I told them about the assignment and described examples [I had a model, if they wanted one], I drew a graphic on my white board, showing how it would look on the page, and I gave them a handout. In some classes we wrote the assignment one paragraph during part of our class time, and the next week we typed out our draft in MLA form. Then we look for evidence to support our ridiculous essay. Anything works. Even though we’re mostly kidding, the joke goes over better if we “tell it with a straight face.”

“Real Life Problem” a framed essay

ASSIGNMENT: Write an essay of five or more paragraphs humorously addressing a minor real life problem (no pornographic or vulgar problems or serious problems like world hunger), propose a silly or ridiculous solution, identify the flaws of your solution, review other options for solving the problem, and conclude what is being or should be done to address the problem. We’re joking! Entertain and inform. 

#1 the PROBLEM: Hook your reader and explain the problem you are concerned about by telling a short story about your personal experience with this problem—an anecdote. Explain why it bothers you, maybe explain why it’s bigger than it looks—show the big picture. State the overall problem in a sentence at the end—your thesis. The toughest thing about this paragraph for many people is telling too much of the story. Write about 200 words. very short story, big picture, thesis sentence

#2 a silly SOLUTION: Propose a satirical “ridiculous” solution to your problem, one that is not vicious (no decapitations!). This solution is not realistic, it must seem both sincere and silly. Explain how your solution would work. Make it sound as reasonable as you can, step by step, in detail. Have fun with this, explain why it is a satisfying solution. In my experience this is at least a medium length paragraph. Write about 200 words. 

#3 the HOWEVER: Explain the problems with your ridiculous solution. Think hard and enumerate them all. Be specific. Consider safety, expense, practicalities, legalities, fairness, other considerations. Perhaps even some of the problems with the solution are silly! You should have at least four problems with your solution. In my experience this is medium length paragraph. Write about 200 words. concede the flaws in your silly solution

#4 other OPTIONS: What else could be done or is being done about this problem? Again, be specific, briefly describing each option in a sentence. These options may include both realistic and silly possibilities. You should have at least six options with your solutions, each explained briefly and carefully. This is usually my longest paragraph, sometimes I must break it into two. Write about 200 words. consider many options

#5 the CONCLUSION: Redefine your problem. Summarize the good, the bad, and the ridiculous. What has been done, is being done, will be done, should be done? What are the consequences of this situation? Revisit your anecdote at the beginning—what did you do in that situation and how did it turn out? Are you satisfied with your on-the-spot reaction or could you do things differently? Step back from your rage, frustration, and spite—be mature here. In my experience this is a medium to long paragraph. Write about 200 words. recap, reconsider, get real

The goal, as you will guess, is an essay draft of about a thousand words. Typed, that’s about three pages, and depending on the class, I required the essay to end at least twelve lines down on page three or somewhere on page four. We added a Works Cited. We peer edited with a scoresheet and I scored the final draft. I could honestly promise that if they completed the assignment, they would receive at least a B. I always told students that if they needed another paragraph or to rearrange them—go ahead. The structure works, is what I’m saying, but it’s a recipe, not an absolute formula. Add a pinch of saffron, to taste.

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