THE MESS

/ janpriddyoregon

The blanket will only be 45″ by 85″ unless I put on a second warp and weave another (third) length. I could do that. I still have some handspun. As I work on the second length of this warp, I think more and more that I want that third length. It is a goal, and I need goals just now.

There are the needs of my husband, children, grandchildren, friends, students—the people who matter most—and then the things I do—reading, writing, playing with color and making meals. I read the newspaper every morning online—several newspapers. I look at real estate I cannot afford, I draw houses, something I have done since I was a little girl. I have worked for contractors and architects and directly for clients, and I have seen my plans built, but it won’t happen again. Next door someone is shoving mud around in the rain. It is a messy job. And my brain feels a little like that sometimes.

Decades ago now, we experienced what we refer to as “The Big Mess.” We had no kitchen sink for many, many months. Dishes in the bathtub. Makeshift chests moved into the space where the kitchen should be. Even then we didn’t get takeout. It was all a long time ago.

We have only ordered takeout three times in the past year. The third time was fish and chips the other day. It was from a former favorite takeout place and afterward both of us looked at one another and decided it was the last time. It wasn’t as good as we remembered and we are more certain than ever that we are done with all flesh. The Thai place is good but not exactly clean. That leaves The Stand, which makes great food (the chiles rellenos and veggie quesadillas are among our favorites), does not cook with lard, and has not disappointed, though we had to get there early for the chiles rellenos.

A play tea party would be nice. Grapes and tea and ginger fish and pumpkin custard with whipped cream for each of us. We dressed up.

We’re not going anywhere today. So baking bread and weaving that second length and once I complete my first five inches I allow myself to turn on the television. I am on Season 4 of The Magicians. I like Margo and Penny best—it probably says something about me that the cynical characters are my favorites.

Last Friday, I opened a very old story fragment and began working on that. No idea where it is going, but I suppose I will figure it out if I keep at it. If I set up some sort of plan for writing, that would be a good thing. If, if, if…

No clear goal in front of me. I need to choose and focus and then…

I ordered a book after promising I would not buy any books this year. So that resolution is dented, but I won’t abandon it. It’s like eating better—two cookies yesterday, but it was all part of the plan to eat better, not like a crazy starving person.

My daily diary now records sleep, exercise, food, and other activities like shopping. I can look up, for example, how many weeks since we shopped at Costco, how many days since we picked up the mail, how many inches woven. I could add word count or time my writing and slide that into my daily record.

For most of 2020 I thought I would be exhibiting several quilts and my wool shawls in December and I worked steadily toward that goal. I skipped NaNo. I did not print out a small run of my novella. I barely managed blog posts. I wove shawls. I pieced quilts. That was the focus of most every day—planning the work and doing it. I “invested” in yarn and fabric because I had submitted an artist statement and images and the work was accepted for a show. The association told me they wanted my work in December. I let most everything else slide, and I remained hopeful, despite the pandemic, that my work would appeal to buyers. That exhibit did not go well. We drove down to pick them up yesterday. The gallery had not even been open for weeks, and it didn’t announce online that they could be purchased, only that the gallery was closed. And while I know I should not complain, since it is an all-volunteer organization, I am disappointed. Now I have so many shawls and so many quilts! And yet I am weaving because I need to be doing. Because I need goals.

Should I mention that it has been raining since the middle of last week? That tar paper and plastic slapped and banged continuously over several nights on the construction site next door? (Now that some of it has blown off into our yard, it was quieter last night, but the neighbor on the other side must be going nuts.) Neither of us have slept well. We have not had a good walk in days.

So after I finish the second length on this warp and cut it from the loom, I will begin winding another warp for a third length. The blanket will have three panels, not just two, and be about 68″ by 85″ when it is done, as large as the one we already have on our bed this winter.

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22 thoughts on “THE MESS”

  2. If in life you are given a mess, make a cup of Joe out of Folgers instant crystals—
    if you can’t do dat then get hamsters or pigs to clean it all up>
    33 months without a kitchen sink is way too long
    Never hesitate buying a book even it’s an old Bible or something with a pigeon on the cover.
    Never let an idiot be in charge especially if it involves money, love, or art.
    And always remember that it gets worse when you get older,
    if you get older.
    Keep your stick on the ice—it will prop you up as the journey continues.

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  3. In a later post align your wool shawls on top of each other but let swatches of the colors of each show so that we can see what is available. We LOVE The Stand and their chiles rellenos is my favorite!

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  4. The colors in that blanket brightened up my gray day here in Portland. Our house is under 25 or so old growth Doug firs so it is dark no matter the weather. But today it seem dismally dark. I’ve actually been so lazy I’ve cast aside everything else for finishing a historical novel I was reading and took a nap. I did do a little admin work on our taxes and other stuff. I like your idea of recording certain things in your daily journal. I may copy you unless you notify me you have a copyright on that program. Probably you can tell by this rambling that you caught me on a hazy, crazy kind of day! Good for you for charging on and making that blanket the size you want it to be. Lovely!

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    • Thank you, Sherry. Colors always brighten my day too.

      When I was in college, my husband and I managed an apartment building, walked everywhere, and I worked 18-30 hours a week while a full time studio art major (looong hours). My grades were very good and that was only because I made a list every day and marked things off as I did them. Oh! And I got 8 hours of sleep every night. Kept me sane.

      So tomorrow is supposed to be the last day of continuous rain and we might get a walk. I think everyone is getting a little bit dopey.

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  5. Pretty pretty pretty blanket to be!! February colors!
    I notice that like me you use stick shuttles. My favorite stick shuttle belonged to Mom. I cannot find another for sale. My friend Kathleen oddly enough has one similar to it. She spins and knits more than she weaves. I tease her about coming to her house and weaving off the warp she has had on her loom for years! Maybe I can ask her to loan the shuttle to me until she is ready to weave!

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  6. I love the colors, Jan! I don’t weave, but I enjoy seeing and hearing about your weaving adventures. Good luck as this beautiful blanket nears completion. And I hope you get a good walk in and a good sleep as well!

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  7. Many things fill up your To Do List; that is a good thing. My artist daughter still plugs along with her shows and even has had video receptions….but, of course, it is not like it ought to be. Sorry yours went by the wayside…
    I enjoyed this post a lot. Many thoughts and feelings. I imagined the words were a weaving, as well.
    Yes, the rain. But here in SW PDX we get out and walk daily, anyway. Today, another river walk between decreased rainfall.
    I hope you get the focus you seek and the work done you most desire. Like that story, maybe.

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  8. For some reason, your dented resolution reference struck a chord with me plus gave me a good laugh – you have a wonderful way with words. Hope to see pictures of your quilts at some point – the colours in the blanket are gorgeous, but I’ll bet the quilts are spectacular as well. Ginger fish – are these cookies??

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    • Thank you and thank you! Yes, the ginger fish were small cookies. My granddaughter was particularly fond of pumpkin custard with whipped cream, but the ginger fish were a close second. Not so much the tea.

      If it ever stops raining, and the light is better, I will take photos of the quilts.

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