As a teacher in public and private schools for over 40 years, I have never been injured by a student, but among other incidents, students have

yelled and sworn at me

thrown a chair at the wall

thrown a heavy metal padlock at me (it missed)

drawn a penis on a classroom poster

written about how they threatened suicide in order to get what they wanted (a gun) and how successful that threat was with terrified parents

wanting to “kill an animal in every country in the world”

emailed about holding a knife against their own throat

claimed to possess a concealed weapon permit (and to be “carrying”)

This all from white, male teenagers. Girls have been angry at me on occasion too, but never threatened me or anyone else. Such lashing out is not unusual. It has always been hard to be a teenager. And as a teacher, telling them what to do, I look like the bad guy. Sometimes I am the bad guy, though I try to be fair. It is predictable that I am blamed for more than I could possibly be at fault for. It is the job, the position of authority. Almost always this lashing out came from students who had, one way or another, been subject to brutality: abusive parents, dictatorial households, overwhelming loss and fear. I worked with Child Protective Services and my administration when the threats were to safety (suicide or abuse or a danger to another person) but I never turned over someone for a threat against myself. Frankly, it did not occur to me.

They were troubled, angry, lonely, depressed, resentful, disappointed. They were looking for an answer. They were looking for someone to blame. A way out. They were not mentally ill. Neither are most shooters. Their actions are not predictable, but an AR15 is. It has no use but murder.

I will say it again: We have an obscene faith in the United States in the power of violence to solve our problems.

We are wrong.