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I struggle with endings, with hitting the balance between hope and regret. Despite wanting my students to listen carefully, review assignments, and take extra time to perfect their work, I am impatient myself. I always wish I’d done something different, pushed harder, and accomplished more. Monday, I had my students over for a party at…
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In August 2011, I ran from my house to school. It would be the last good run of my life. And it was not good. I had been training all summer for my second official half marathon that October. I ran long one day a week, working up to 12.5 miles, and 3-6 miles other…
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STAR ANISE ANISE FENNEL CARROWAY So. If apples are a fruit, and pineapples are also a fruit, then pineapples are a kind of apple. And pineapples are surely similar to pinecones? Then pinecones must also be apples! Don’t worry, it’s not logical. It’s just the way my day has…
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“The feeling when you are going to get drunk home alone in your underwear – with no intention of going out. A drink. At home. In your underwear. And there is a word for it. Kalsarikännit.”
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When I am not teaching and when I want a break from writing, or I am feeling wounded and drained (it happens), I weave. Sometimes I quilt. I have a friend who sells a lot of work urging me to join a group, open an Easy account, or in some way make some money from…
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Pacifica Project Presentations There was no color essay on Tuesday. I have been busy the past few days because my high school has a graduation requirement that ends with presentations at the convention center. Students have identified a community and a need—a charitable concern such as feeding children, tagging salmon, collecting litter, or coaching kids—then…
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A friend posted on Facebook that if she could have any question answered, she would ask God why humans were so made to be so different, varying in height and weight and color and language—we are so variable, unlike zebras or elephants or monkeys, which are about the same, she wrote. A mutual friend suggested…
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I like to bake. I like baking cakes even more than eating them. I like eating pie better, but baking a pie is never as satisfying as cake. I don’t know why that is. Let month, I was asked to make a cake for my youngest grandchild, an honor. Today we are celebrating our only…
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It’s been a while since men at my school considered it appropriate to make a retirement speech suggesting that a male teacher was putting moves on a teenage girl. Ten years? Maybe longer. Maybe not so long ago. Not long enough. I heard them make such remarks and others. The promise of a better grade…
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Pododesmus macrochisma: METAPHOR FOR GIRLS Each morning I walk the sand, searching for what my grandmother misnamed the “ugly clams” caught in foam left behind by a retreating wave or stranded high on shore from last night’s tide. Smaller than my thumb or filling my palm, they might come to rest among seaweeds torn…
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IMPERFECT PATIENCE 